Reviews for The School of Homer

Friday, June 24, 2005

Movie Star Media

I must have missed some things over the years as some movie stars have been catapulted to the top of the acting world not by any merits, but by the media that has been created around their world.

For instance, since when is Tom Cruise the greatest and biggest movie star in the world? Has anyone actually seen Mission Impossible 2? It is one of the worst films I've ever seen and I barely remember it, what I do remember is the last fight scene which is so ridiculous that I was cracking up. Also, why do people keep interviewing him about his dopey scientologist beliefs? The guy is a nut, you're not going to get anything out of him, as Matt Lauer has discovered, so either ask something else or don't have him on the show. I prefer the latter. And if we must question this freak why not ask him some real questions like, "Mr. Cruise, why were you unable to read and write until your twenties, are we supposed to believe that? Isn't it just a propaganda story to pump up the Scientology literacy program?" or "Mr. Cruise, I've noticed from other interviews that you have trouble in focusing when asked what Scientology is, so I'll get more specific, what exactly is your philosophy's, Scientology's, view on epistemology, or the theory of human knowledge?"

When did Sean Penn become the greatest actor of the modern era? You do a turn as Spicoli and all of the sudden you're Laurence Olivier? So I guess Seann William Scott (American Pie's Stiffler) will be winning Academy Awards next. Let's consider his other great works, Dead Man Walking the inspiring story of a psychotic killer, who is guilty, being executed and being sad about it. The Thin Red Line, a movie so god-awful and boring, I walked out. I am Sam, where he plays himself, a retarded man trying to live on his own. I see nothing in his filmography for which he deserves such an elated status. Olivier did Wuthering Heights and other meaty and weighty roles like Hamlet. Sir Alec Guiness, before taking on Star Wars at the end of his career, was in classics like The Bridge on the River Kwai and Lawrence of Arabia. John Wayne was in scores of great films and Clint Eastwood has been in many great ones as well. Even Arnold Schwarzenegger has been in more great films than Penn, Terminator, Predator, Total Recall, Terminator 2, True Lies, etc. So why is Penn the greatest actor of the age? To put it as bluntly as possible, whose ass did he kiss?

The media around movie stars frightens and confuses me, much like modern technology to the Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. What's the deal?

2 comments:

Apollo said...

HaHa, Also, ever notice that anybody that plays a retard in a movie always gets serious aclaim for their acting.

How hard can it be to play a retard? I can do that . . just get me drunk and hit me over the head a few times .

Alexander V. Marriott said...

Don't get me started on Leonardo Dicaprio.